Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My Lord, My Friend

sometimes wen i dunt fit in
i reach for u within
you remind me of who i am
an image of my Lord the Lamb
that fits as perfect as the glove.
you are the one true friend i know
one that i could never outgrow.
My Lord, My friend you'll always be
the best ever there is to me
sometimes when am all alone
i think of all the love you have shown
i look above and see your face
woven into the skies like lace.
My love for you i cant compare.
You fulfill my little heart's desire
i talk to you every time i pray
to get me through each day.

.......my friends say i enjoy making mysef sad,well i noticed i get inspired to write when am sad
so here pple,onyi nwatu is sad...lol...but i knw i v found comfort in his arms...

Listen to my pleading heart...

I found luv,am sure of it,yes i found luv in my hart its true...i found it a long time ago,am sure of it,i kept it 4 a while den i let it go...it was a luv so sweet,pure,young n natural,am sure of it.it came 2 me wen i least xpectd,nt dat i was searching,nt dat i was wanting but it came 2 me,but i let it go...hw culd i v done dat,hw culd i v bin so careless,y didnt i guard it jealously,y didnt i nurture it,y didnt it blossom...nw am searching,nw am wanting,nw am begging,nw am pleading...am like a child,an infant who has bin denied her mothers breast to suckle,am like a child who yearns 2 b cuddled in ha mother's bossom,2 feel d warmth n d tender touch of luv,my tears ll flow endlessly lik a hunger striken child...in d forest of xperience i v wandered 4 yrs relentless hopin 2 find luv or its equivalent or wats left of it,seen but none culd b compared 2 it n v found nuthin 2 make me quiver or take me 2 heights dat my lost luv tuk me,nuthin even close 2 it...but out of d blues it resurfaces n am unsure of wat it has becum,if it has 4givn me,if it ll stil b mine,nw am on my knees,beggin 2 b luvd again,longin 4 dat special touch,wanting d beautiful rendevous wit it,hopin my hunger n thirst ll b filld n quenchd 4eva...my hart aches,am hurt,mayb i tuk it 4 grantd,mayb it was my neglect,i wasnt listenin cos it was 2 noisy,mayb i got carried away,mayb i didnt put in enuf effort...take me back n i ll b beta,take me back n i ll listen,take me back n i ll gud,take me back n i ll guard u jealously,take me back n dis luv ll b,it ll b n i promise 4eva wit u..

Flawless...take a second look...

To expect 2 find an ideal man,one who is witout fault or flaws,one who is perfect n falls or has al d gud n xtraordinary qualities of a man is neither true nor realistic.
Ok lets say u find d ideal man,wat makes u feel dat u wuld luv him perfectly.
We whr nt made perfect so y do we seek perfection,d same way we v blemishes n acne on our skin,we al v flaws,flaws r dere 2 differ u 4rm sum1 else,dese flaws make u who u r,dey make u unique,special 4 dat soul mate of urs...
You v 2 luv urself 1st inorda 2 luv anoda n until den,u ll only swim in pools of unrealistic waters in search of perfection.
Embrace ur imperfect self,let d realistic nature take its causd.
U may do al d surgery 2 ur physical appearance but dat flaw no mata hw tiny ll always make u stand out.
I am me,
i am who i am,
i am nt perfect,
i am nt flawless
but am d best selling book money can buy

The Change we need...

We live in a world where the truth is often twisted to suit our today’s world and needs. People are afraid to look each other in the face and speak the truth which stares us right in our own eyes. In my own eyes I see the world differently ,a world where you and I can start from our own homes and make a change no matter how small it seems in the eyes of others . A world where every little help you give is voluntary and cheerfully given. The world i see is a world that is fair and just. Some people say it will take a while but I say if you start yours now others will join you in due time.
I was at a conference two months ago in South Korea with people from all over the world, to be precise 450 young men and women from different races and different tribes but who speak one language(GOD) but what struck me most was not the turnout of these people but a culture from our own home land, a culture which most young women would call ‘old-school’…what amazed me was the manner at which the South African females were quick to clear the dishes of everyone on the table after every meal regardless of the tribe, age and color, they even asked if anyone wanted any order thing from the kitchen. We enquired from their male counterparts who told us it was part of their tradition and that women in South Africa knew it was their responsibility to take care of the men. We the female folks from Nigeria were also quick to adapt to the new trend n joined to do same.
The change we seek is at our door post and some of us know this but have simply refused to acknowledge this fact. Unless we change our mindsets and our entire being we can’t bring change or make any change. Change starts with our individual contribution and gradually it will grow but when we don’t collectively work together to bring change we pull down our nation or our world. It’s up to us to decide whether we want to raise or pull down our world.
Let our nation not be like a sheep without a shepherd, let our honorable house not be dishonored by the things we do in it, let our administrative offices not be misused in our nation or churches.
Young people a lot of responsibilities lies on our shoulder, let us not wait for a coal to be put on our lips like Isaiah before we speak the truth and our minds. Let us speak without fear, do not be hearers of the word only but also doers of it, let us listen and harken to the voice of the Holy Spirit as he tells us what to do and when to do them, let us do the right things at every given opportunity. Washing any plate you find in the sink would cost u nothing but just water touching your hands, that same way u are indirectly washing your hands too, turning off the light in the bed room when stepping out would cost you nothing but a reduced nepa bill, helping someone make noodles wouldn’t make you sweat but you are also practicing cooking for the future, leaving all the work for the house help doesn’t make you a chic or doesn’t mean she will disrespect you if you scrubbed the bathroom once in a while, you are building yourself for your own home tomorrow…
Young people let us not ask why us, we are the future of this great nation, the leaders of tomorrow, God didn’t put you here so you can relax, he brought you here for a reason, let us quit complaining about things when we have not done our parts.
To end this I say to you, “for every new office or assignment,there has to be a new anointing or fresh oil. Old oil or anointing doesn’t work in a new phase of one’s life or assignment or office. My God will give you the strength you need as you proceed to do the right this for our nation and world.
God bless you
Love,
Onyi nwatu

The Christ i know...

The Christ i know
is not buried in the preacher's sermons
nor in the pastor's big BIBLE
nor in the flowing gowna of all who command the pulpit

The Christ i know
does not covet every pauper's naria to buy is flying jet
nor sell salvation to the children of babylon.

My Christ does not joy
in the sedative opiums
dished out every sunday
so the furious sun can continue to reign
unchallenged in his fatal glory
nor in the high mountain of tithes and offerings
amidst a vast ocean of hunger...

The Christ i know
is the passenger sitting right next to me
each kobo i give to complete his fare
draws me closer to God

The Christ i know
is that stranger who is lost and cant find his way
each direction i give that he may find his way
draws me closer to God

The Christ i know
is the poor widow down the street
each cup of garri i give
to appease the raging worms in her belly
draws me closer to God

The Christ i knw
is you my friend
each smile or tear i cry with you
each kindness i show and love i give
draws me closer to God

Nobody's Darlin'

Everybody's picture, Nobody's darling
my limbs that daily burn,
under the heat of the furious sun
reflect gold streams
and they daily bath in ecstatic fits
singing my name to the heavens
drinking from the fleeced milk
of myy humanity
night the sun goes down
leaving behind gullied valleys
where i nurse my wounds
under the watchful eyes of BAYLIS
they scurry away in shame
to hide in secret spots
waiting for the next rendezvousfor i have become
EVERYBODY'S PICTURE, NOBODY'S DARLING....

.............i have found my voice.....lol.....thanx Rev Tee

apologys to you...

i wouldnt say i have had d most intrestin experiences or felt the most pain but i sure v seen quite a few tins
relationships with humans is a difficult job to keep,infact its a job witout a guaranty of full salary payment... i v had quite a few of them,if nt more dan i shuld. a minister once told me that some of d friends we humans keep are lik extra luggages on a plane. be it a female or male friend,we all luk forward to sumtin frm them... we expect a certain amount to things from this relationshp... dont get me rong,i cant say i v been d best of friend to my pals... infact sometimes i forget to call or even send a txt(which by d way is lik my best way of kipin intouch) but it doesnt mean i dunt luv dem... sumtimes becos i v nt kept intouch wit dem for a lng time,i get scared of callin or takin deir calls for fear of rejection or dem being mad at me... procastination is lik a bad egg that gives out d ugliest stench... n d more u hold on to it d uglier d stench becos... i am nt d holiest of holys neither am i perfect... i am guilt of letting some of my friends down,i v hurt,cursed,bin mad at,betrayed some of dem n dunt even deserve to b called a friend... sometimes we psychologicaly hurt,emotionaly abuse sum of friends by words or actions n just dunt care abt deir feelns... but in all i v also learnt that just a few words culd change alot btwn two pple... a lil please here n dere,a simple am sori if it hurt u,forgive me...all these magic words could do us awole lot of gud.... i tuk out time to stay away frm my friends n b alone n blive me i v neva felt as lonely as i felt in dose weeks... to all my friends both the once i met in my innocent age,childhood n dose i just met....hear dis,i may fault,v flaws,hurt u,make u cry,betray u,stab u at d back or make mistakes but datd becos i was programmed to b dis way n nt b perfect but it doesnt mean u dunt v dat special place in my heart...knw dat each time i scroll thru my fone or fb page n c ur name,dat dere is a lil smile...if nt giggle on dis face of mine becos i v u for a reason.... and for dose i hurt,i did it nt knowin d havoc i was gonna cause u or our friendship...for dose i let down in d past,am only human...n its expected dat i derail...am truly sori if i v eva hurt u in d past...and for those i just met,am nt perfect,i may default sumhw,sumday but it doesnt mean i dunt love u still.....i love u all n wish we culd all go back in time and start afresh..

u call it cowardise, i call it virtue

U call it cowardise,i call it virtue

In dis shadows i v hidden my true words of anger,anger dat wants to swallow me and eat my hart al for luv n peace and am called a coward... In my hart i hold d pain,pains dat prick,hurt n choke n left speechless al for luv n peace and am called a coward... In my eyes i store up tears,rivers of tears i fear may ovaflow n drown me al for luv n peace and am called a coward... Am nt ashamed,am nt ashamed 2 b called a COWARD cos in my hart,i call it virtue...instead of raised voices,i give u silence...instead of showin u pain which u ll cal "a sign of weakness",i ll show unfainting strength...instead of tears,i ll giv u bountiful smiles cos dey r worth more dan ornament or adornment a woman can eva wear... Judge me,hate me,show no mercy,do wateva u want,u kan neva change me cos DIS IS MY TRUE PERSONALITY, DIS IS WHO I AM...DIS IS MY VIRTUE,I AM A VIRTIOUS WOMAN!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

my ruffle top...

okay so i rolled out of bed this morning,think it was the call i got from him last night or the dinner or maybe the work load on my table that kept dinging in my subconscious mind, really am not so sure which it was but i hardly slept in the five (5) little hours i had to myself...anyway i stagger to the bathroom,(i need to let one out)...took a glass full of water(morning routine) and did my thing in my little white bowl(u know what i mean)...so i take a warm bath,still unsure of what to wear to work, my only hope is my six year old cousin who is my second eye and mirror...trust me she scored well on my Saturday Polham polo dress,i looked stunning, so am guessing i would do with her services today as well...considering i was running out of clothes and all...anyway she picked out this peach wrap-round 'ruffle top' (i will tell you what, my mum got me the top and i have not gotten around to wearing it and i said hey, why not try it)and so i slip into this top and a black office pant and i turn to stare at the mirror and i felt lik i was a ballerina...to me the top felt and looked funny but because i didn't want to hurt my baby's feelings so i decide to wear it and i splashed on this pretentious smile and act like i really loved it...i put on a mix-match of my usual male cologne(to boost my already deflated confidence) and bounced out into the street...while i solo-walked to the bus stop to get a ride to work...dis sleek black(newly-bought) Honda Discussion Continues parks right in-front of me and i cling unto my phone like i had been asked for it,den suddenly this dark, tall, handsome young man steps out of the car with a Colgate smile and says 'please don't be scared' and am like 'okay i wont be' (for my mind, no be me dey there) so he says 'i couldn't help but love your top so i said to stop and tell you for real' and he walks back into his car and smiles and while waving he says, 'hope to see you on this road tomorrow again' ...

okay i felt like a little child who had been given a candy n immediately i regained my deflated confidence and got a ride to work...when i walked into the office, the first comment i got about my top was 'onyi, did you sleep at home?' and 'if you did why didn't you irony your top'... even when i tried to explain they still said i should i ironed my top...it was only two people who realised that a ruffle top doesn't need ironing and even if you iron it,it would never straighten...in as much as the comments people made, almost got to me but i thought about the young man and i felt better,,,no one has the right to make me feel bad except me...

fashion is a fast forward thing, i believe am one of the few people who dare to wear something different, and here is a few good home truths, confidence comes from within, so ladies before you get dressed tomorrow morning, please search for the best of clothes and if you cant find one please put on a sexy and good lingerie...trust me they give you wings like red bull...and please please give someone a compliment no matter how awful you think she looks, you can never tell if that's all she needs to get by...

I wore my 'ruffle top' which i felt and thought was funny on me and looked liked a ballerina but scored a cute guy and a wonderful comment, trust me...every woman needs to be appreciated...if i could do it with my lovely body and funny peach 'ruffle top' which turned out to be beautiful on me and made me have a wonderful day...you too can do it...lots of smile... a typical day in the life of boring me...lol

lots of love like always Onyi

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lagos State...

Lasgidi as i fondly call it,a city where everything you want is a stone throw away from you... Yesterday afternoon i was in traffic and these street hawkers began to harass me like i owed them salary and when they got tired they left but one persisted on selling one of his wrist watches to me...but really what i wanted was the Season Three of Merlin, as i have been so caught up with work and some clients lately that i have not had time for the television set or any television program (except for Nickelodeon and Kids Co... that's all my babies would let mama watch) or the cinema (partially because the one person i love to do that with has been out of time for weeks unending) anyway this guy was seriously bugging me for the watch and i guess it was because i was lost in thought about someone that i kept staring at the wrist watch (am sure that made him think i was really interested) so this dude looks into my handbag which was beside me and was obviously open (because i was alone in the car) and he saw my Chloe Glass case and he says 'Aunty, u wan buy sunglasses", still lost in thoughts, i didnt say a word to him and he looked left,looked right,and looked left and right again and i became startled, like what is he about to do? and the young man reached into his pocket and i began to wonder within myself, what kind of sunglasses would fit into his already tight blue almost turned white jeans (maybe from bleach or from washing, i really couldn't tell which though) and brought out a Nokia N97 and a Blackberry Bold2 and immediately i jerked as i regained conciousness... my mouth dropped open immediately and he dipped it back into his pocket like someone was after him and he began to ask me if i wanted anyone (my mouth was still wide open from the shock) and the young man said to me 'Aunty abeg close your mouth before fly go enter am, this one wey you they do like person wey never see Blackberry before'... i laughed really hard and the dude left and disappeared...i just couldn't shake the thought off my head as i wondered how many phones people buy off the streets and how they rob people...Lagos City, city of hustlers...

Lagos the home land of all, a land where all can happily survive either by pocket picking, bag snatching or defraud someone (419)..a place were aje-butters can't survive on the streets, a city where everyone is in a hurry to get to the next location, a city where you can hardly make out the words that the conductor is screaming at the top of his lungs, a city where 24/7 there is traffic at all nooks and cranny and the only way to get by is monitor the traffic schedule and try to beat it... a city where the BRT buses are not taken for granted as people queue up and stand endlessly for one to come, a city where the Danfoe bus can never stop for its passenger to come down, you must master the skills of jumping down while the bus is still in motion and risk tearing your skin or your clothe., a city where everyone sees the next person as a potential 419ner... a city where the conductor is screaming at you and trying to dupe you of your rightful change and yet baptizing you with his mucus infested saliva...

Lagidi a city where the players know how to play well, a city where the party starts and begins, a city for only the hustlers, who hustle right and play big, a city for the finest things, a city where people come and fit in instantly, a city with great restaurant for people with appetite, a city with good and strong memories...lol, i love lasgidi, i love Lagos State...

Lagos State aka Lasgidi for the players, Eko Oni Baje for the elders...

Hey People

Hello my bloggy friends,

Soooo.... I tried out Facebook and Newspapers, and although I liked it and may continue writing there from time to time, a Great friend of mine talked me into blogger said i ll be much more comfortable here. I still feel like I need to go in a different direction though, so you can now find me here... www.onyinwatu.blogspot.com. I think there may also be a link to it on my info page. I have not started writing yet... just trying to get my page all set up right now, but feel free to check it out! Once I get my Angels to bed tonight and some of my officework done, I am hoping to have a little bit of time and energy left to start blogging! I am very excited about this new journal. :) After going through series of failed relationships, friendship and painful experiences... I need a place where I can write about my mistakes and successes, as I continue to learn and grow... I hope you will join me on this new adventure! I have been buried in work, but desperately need a place where I am not told what to write and can express myself more freely. I apologize once again for being sooooo far behind at catching up with your lives and hope you are all doing well. xoxo

As always, I wish you much love and many blessings,

love,
Onyi